It might be the best part of Netflix's new magic and elves series.
Netflix's The Witcher follows in that
tradition of inserting original music among the swords and beasts and
high fantasy drama. In Episode Two of the new series we're introduced to
a bard named Jaskier (Joey Batey), who's following around our titular
Witcher, Geralt of Rivia (Henry Cavill) to get some ideas for his music
and make a name for himself and our hero. The bard himself is kind of a
pain in the ass, a needy nobody with misplaced confidence, who gets by
thanks to sheer luck. But the guy has a good voice, in medieval terms at
least. At the end of Episode Two, he pens "Toss A Coin To Your
Witcher," which is actually kind of a funny fantasy banger.
It's
performed by Batey himself, and was written by Sonya Belousova and
Giona Ostinelli with lyrics by Jenny Klein. As these things go, the
lyrics basically describe the events of Episode Two of The Witcher,
with Batey singing things like: "Our champion prevailed / Defeated the
villain / Now pour him some ale." It's silly, but with some modern
production and pop-adjacent melodies, it's actually pretty damn catchy.
I'm
still on the fence about The Witcher as a whole—which is kind of
tonally and narratively baffling—but this song is good as hell! "Toss a
Coin to Your Witcher" pretty much represents the best of what this show
has to offer—meaning, it's kind of weird, doesn't take itself too
seriously, and does something that not really any other show would
bother taking on. We need more TV character theme songs! Think of this
as like a fantasy version of the Adam West Batman song or like Shaft.
Witcher song lyrics
When a humble bard
Graced a ride along
With Geralt of Rivia
Along came this song
From when the White Wolf fought
A silver-tongued devil
His army of elves
At his hooves did they revel
They came after me
With masterful deceit
Broke down my lute
And they kicked in my teeth
While the devil’s horns
Minced our tender meat
And so cried the Witcher
He can’t be bleat
Toss a coin to your Witcher
O’ Valley of Plenty
O’ Valley of Plenty
Toss a coin to Your Witcher
O’ Valley of Plenty
At the edge of the world
Fight the mighty horde
That bashes and breaks you
And brings you to mourn
He thrust every elf
Far back on the shelf
High up on the mountain
From whence it came
He wiped out your pest
Got kicked in his chest
He’s a friend of humanity
So give him the rest
That’s my epic tale
Our champion prevailed
Defeated the villain
Now pour him some ale
Toss a coin to your Witcher
O’ Valley of Plenty
O’ Valley of Plenty
Toss a coin to your Witcher
And friend of humanity
Toss a coin to your Witcher
O’ Valley of Plenty
O’ Valley of Plenty
And friend of humanity
Toss a coin to your Witcher
O’ Valley of Plenty
O’ Valley of Plenty
Toss a coin to your Witcher
A friend of humanity
0 Comments